I swear, if Lauren Conrad said breathing isn't cool....

Half of the girls I can think of would be dead.

My question is, can you not think for yourself? Sure, I'm not the most glamorous person in the world. In fact, most of the time I look like a college student who woke up too late for their first class, decided to sleep through their second class, and arrived at their last class of the day a half hour late. Yes, you've guessed correctly - jeans, a hoodie, and hair that's just sort of thrown up into a pony tail. I do not go to extreme lengths to make myself look oh-so-freaking-irresistable. But hey, at least someone can spot me in a crowd, right? (Mostly from my hoodie, I'm the only one around here with one like it, but that's another story.)

I'm not saying it's a crime to wear your huge sunglasses and your Uggs (which I think stand for fUGGly) and your jeans tucked down into said boots. I'm just saying it's a crime for me to not be able to spot you. "Oh, she's the girl in the Uggs." Yeah, that makes it easy to spot you. "Well she was wearing those really big Nicole Richie sunglasses, too." Thanks for narrowing it down.

I've honestly never felt much of a compulsion to look exactly like someone else. That's not to say I'm completely comfortable in my own skin - I'm not - but at least I can truthfully say that I don't try to look like I could be an extra on "The Hills" while I live in WEST VIRGINIA.

Here's a piece of advice, ahnkay?

1) Let your hair go natural. Blonde ain't for everyone, dear. Not to mention that your roots and your eyebrows are completely tattling on you.

2) Put the Uggs away. For one, they're not THAT in style anymore, and two, if it's July - well, that's just stupid. Oh, and you can't sit there and say you love all the little animals when you're using THEIR fur to line YOUR feet.

3) Chuck Yeager called - he wants his glasses back.

4) Jeans tucked down into your shoes are slowly becoming the equivalent of having toilet paper stuck to your shoe.

5) Lay off the tanning. This gets me the most, actually - do you not actually know that while you may look good and healthy today, your skin will look like some exotic animal's hide in about ten years? Or do you just not give a shit? My guess is the latter.

I'm done!